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Blessing Meadows Ministries

Do You Know Why You Are Hurting?

For those who are abused or in distress



































Everyone on earth has been touched by some kind of abuse, either sexual assaults or attacks on self-esteem, verbally, emotionally or physically.  There is strife and bitterness, abandonment and lack of love.  

In some countries war rages openly and post-traumatic stress isn’t even mentioned because it’s shared by all.  Here in America, the attacks are more subtle and hidden within families, but just as destructive.

People are hurting so severely.  Even if you say none of these things have actually happened to you, I'm willing to bet you're feeling abandoned and abused anyway.

We think that the people who are hateful towards us are our enemies but in reality, even the strongest are wounded and broken people themselves, living under the shadow of the fallen world.  Satan's tricks and his will for our lives reign supreme aside from God's intervention.

I’ve heard from people who have suffered so many blows that they can’t move forward anymore, they are spiritually bleeding internally and will self-destruct if love and understanding are not applied.

The woman who has been raped or violated in some way can’t separate what has happened to her from who she is. 

The enemy loves to keep our understanding muddled like this.  He doesn’t want us to know that our soul and spirit are still pure and can’t be made dirty. 

We are a “spirit-being” with a soul (the soul contains the emotions and ego and memories), housed in a temporary body that can die (but the spirit and soul are eternal and can never die!) 

The body is made of the materials of this earth and has a shelf life.  It’s expendable, going back into the earth with all the other dirt. 

When Jesus returns those of us who have been regenerated through acceptance of His gift of life on the cross will be given a resurrection body that is indestructible and will be able to do the things Jesus’ new body did after His resurrection.

To dig even deeper, think of your body’s cells.  They reproduce and replace each other at regular intervals.  You are always being remade and the body that was raped, or touched or violated, actually doesn’t exist anymore after about one year.  That’s the length of time for all of your various organs to be replaced.

In actuality, once the mind can grasp the truth about the separation between body and spirit, you can be cleansed from that event without waiting a year!

There is no dirt or fingerprints on you that mark you forever!

It’s an event that is recorded in your soul that gets stuck in there and actually stops your growth and maturing until you work through it emotionally.

There are ways to work through it quickly (such as EFT) and giving it to Jesus to be destroyed in the fire of His work at the cross.  This is a mental exercise involving your heart, but to do this, you need to know who you are.

You cannot SEE yourself for who you really are, except by reading scripture and learning who you are in God’s eyes.  He is your maker, He has the owner’s manual, He knows the design and can repair the unit.  Only God can fix what has happened to you.

You can go on living as if it didn’t happen, try to deal with it in the best way you can, but you will likely begin to develop illnesses in your body. 

It may take years before these breakdowns become so severe you can’t ignore them any longer, but if you don’t clear these events out before it gets to this point, the likelihood of getting your perfect health back (other than a miracle healing from God) is slim.

It is crucial to develop a healthy view about yourself verses the other people around you in order to: 

        stop being a victim,

        learn to say no,

        walk away from trouble and

        identify danger ahead so that you can steer around and away from it next time without internalizing every event that happens (as something “they” did TO you.)

So how did you get here?  Why are you hurting?  Why did people do these things to you?

Remember we all come here as babies, still connected to the Spirit, able to see angels and interact with that other world we will return to. 

Very soon after birth, the veil begins closing over our understanding.  The physical world becomes more solid to us, and we imagine it as more real.  The spirit world begins to seem like a dream, or our imagination. 

As God created this earth, it was a perfect place and people were perfect.  But because of the fall of man into sin, this world is under the leadership and ownership of Satan and everything in it has been twisted and distorted.  The understanding of mankind has been further darkened so that NOBODY living on this earth today has a full understanding of who they are and why they are here.

In this day and age, we are seeing an even greater “clouding” of understanding as people spiral down into sin and the end of days.

The only way to know yourself is to seek yourself IN God!

Why are you here? 

God made you for His purposes and gave you life.  Ask Him what His purpose for you is. 

We know scripture says the duty of man is “to walk humbly before our God and do good to those around us”.  Jesus said the whole work of man is “to believe on the One whom God sent” to save us.  (It may take you years to apply the whole work that Jesus did at the cross to every individual belief system you have.)

Beyond that, Jesus gave instructions before He left the earth.  He said, preach the gospel, heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead and baptize people in His name.  In other words, take authority over our situations and over the natural earth, including its spiritual elements.

How do you know your value? 

Children look for their parent’s approval by smiles, by kind words, or by praise for their validation. 

In times past, every child had chores to do and they were rewarded for doing them, and knew that the work they did each day put food on the table for their families and kept life going.  They had a sense of identity by the work they performed.

Today children are told to play and be quiet until they’re 18 without much emphasis put on what they do or what decisions they make.  Suddenly at age 18 we pull out all the stops and expect them to be able to make healthy decisions and take care of themselves.  We have not taught them how to take care of themselves or how to fit into the world. 

We get validation and healthy feedback from the reactions of others and the results of our decisions.  We all NEED to make constant decisions and be able to gauge the outcome – judging for ourselves if it moves us towards our goals or away from them.

For the very young child without instruction from their parents and constant reinforcement of their value and self-worth, a child has to rely on cues they pick up from everyone around them.  Smiles, words, things that they hear that may not even have anything to do with them, but are wrongly taken as what people believe about them.

A child who has been sexually molested, perhaps in low intensity situations where there is no danger or violence, identifies himself with the abuser.  They have so little understanding of their self-worth and purpose on earth, and are constantly searching for love and validation, that they assume their sex organs or abilities to please others sexually are what makes them valuable.  So they draw from these experiences and make future decisions based on what they believe people think about them. 

Then every interaction with others becomes about what you can do for them, or them for you, without actually addressing who you are and why you’re here.   

This leads to a feeling that life is unfair, you haven’t gotten back an equal value for what you’ve given, and bitterness grows.

So we begin this split in reality that causes us to behave in ways we wouldn’t choose.  We make wrong decisions, second guessing what others might want from us, hoping for the approval of someone significant in our life, (or even strangers), and when we don’t receive what we need, we become victims.

We start gathering and nursing wounds, moving further away from the wonderful plan God has for our lives and identify ourselves with our UNFULFILLMENTS rather than our accomplishments.

I call these wounds rocks.  Here’s an illustration.

Imagine two children playing, walking along their life paths, and picking up stones.  They pick up burdens and wounds and hold onto them, filling both hands and arms so that they walk slower and can’t stop to play anymore.  Their capacity is filled, and all they see and feel daily is the growing burden of weight they are trying to carry on to the next part of the journey and ultimately home.

Well, one child decides to drop the rocks, and she has two hands free now to hug someone, to climb a tree, to swim in a lake, to play with her teddy bears.  (Hopefully she won’t gather them up again, but it seems few people actually find relief from their burdens.)

The other child doesn’t dare let go of the rocks, she thinks she has to show them to everyone she meets so they can pat her on the head and tell her they’re so sorry she has suffered so much burden.

Unfortunately, nobody she passes seems to care.  They can’t see her burdens.  They’re all carrying their OWN rocks, wanting her to pat THEM on the head and comfort THEM, but nobody can hug anyone because they’re all holding rocks!

Here is where Jesus and His work at the cross come into the picture.

So God sees what a mess we’ve gotten into and He comes and collects all the rocks for us and takes them to the cross.  But we don’t let them go.  (Almost nobody can completely let go of their “woundedness”.  We still try to hold onto guilt, pain, self-condemnation, the desire to get revenge, etc.)

We can’t see past our rocks to fully understand the cross, and we can’t imagine God wouldn’t be offended by our rocks (as we are), or that He’d ever want to look upon us again.

        Even though He promised total victory and cleansing. 

        Even though He wrote the Bible to tell us all the details of His plan. 

        Even though He’s done everything to help us overcome.

Let’s be the child who puts down her rocks, who gives them to Jesus and lets them stay at the foot of the cross!  Let’s empty our hands and hearts of these burdens, understand that the people who hurt us are hurting too.  They need Jesus to take their rocks away.  They need someone to hug them and tell them how important they are and how beautiful.  They need the validation and sanctification that WE need so desperately.

And it’s already here!  We have it when we put down the rocks and walk away lighter and freer.

The way to repair your self-image is in reading scripture, and spending time with Jesus.  See yourself as God sees you in scripture.  Know that He didn’t give up His life and suffer like that for some whim or halfhearted adventure to save mankind.

This was a serious, thought out, planned and crucial mission that was not wasted on one person.  EVERY single person, including you and me were who He died for.  If there was no other who would accept Him as Savior and Son of God, He would have still gone to the cross for you alone.

Even if it was only you, He would have done no different.  He fulfilled a contract and made a new one.  He produced a legal document in blood.  Don’t think it was made lightly.  Now it’s up to us to take OUR part as seriously and honor it. 

Satan wants to keep you from knowing who you are, and me from knowing who I am.  He wants us to be totally in the dark about our power and authority in Christ and about our mission here.

He doesn’t want you to know that God can forgive you, has forgiven you, and will never think badly of you!

Satan wants you to focus on YOU. 

What happened to you, what you feel, what you do.  When you do that, you play into his hands and he has power over you.

If you focus on Jesus and what He did for you and why, then you have the ability to change how you think about yourself. 

See yourself in Jesus’ eyes.  You are His beloved, His bride.  Even if you’re a man, you are part of His church that He has loved and redeemed with His death.  His bejeweled and decorated sweetheart, pure and chaste, washed in His very own blood, adorned in a wedding garment that is just for Him!

You’re still going to have to deal with the people and things in your life while you’re here.  You’ve got your life with husband or wife and your life with your family, co-workers etc., but you no longer have to be a victim to any of them.  Let them carry their rocks if they choose, but you lay yours down and go play!

Spend your life doing good things like Jesus did.  Comfort, teach, heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons, take authority over powers and principalities, and baptize people in His name! 

Imagine yourself made complete in Christ, a perfect work, a being that can make decisions guided by the Holy Spirit of God, and empowered to do all things through Christ’s power. 

All of God’s love and blessings have been bestowed upon you, and he has declared that you are the righteousness of God thru Christ and that as Jesus is, we are in this world.

That is QUITE a statement my friend!  We’re moving from a feeling of worthlessness and abandonment to the knowledge that God chose you, equipped you and is sending you out into the world as His ambassador to help others get out of bondage too. 

All that has happened to you in the past is burned up and washed away by Christ’s blood on the cross.  All that is ailing you, holding you back and stopping your progress was removed for you by His beating – that horrible scourging that ripped flesh and blood from His body. 

He then willingly took all your grief, your sorrow, your guilt, your shame, your bad choices and all the fear and hate and pain, and He bore it on His body on that cross so that it was burned up along with your sins and sicknesses. 

As that happened, He transferred to you His holiness and righteousness, putting His “clean garments” on you who had been dressed in rags.  He took upon His body all your imperfections and miseries and forever, FOREVER took them away from you.  You will NEVER see them again if you truly let them go.

Now how should you act?

As one who was redeemed, as one who is loved and beloved beyond any understanding in the human mind.  As one who has been reconciled (that means melded back into place) with God, and cannot EVER be separated from Him again, no matter what you do!

Understand that the rest of the world is in varying levels of understanding of the truth and God is bringing them all along in His own good time.  You can’t judge them harshly because they don’t understand what you do yet.  And understand that the traditional churches of the world have not all caught on to the ministry of grace and life.  Most are still preaching death and condemnation because that’s all they know to do.

When the life of the Holy Spirit comes into the preaching, when it’s being taught from the standpoint of God’s grace and mercy that is extended to us who don’t deserve it, then the fruit of that preaching is new life.  You can’t beat someone on the head and make them break free from addictions.  You entice them with the joy and life of Jesus. 

Now you determine that all those you held something against from your past who hurt you, are your brothers and sisters who are in pain and error, and you forgive them.  That doesn’t mean get back in contact with them or let them hurt you again.  It means drop the desire to get even with them.  Drop the desire to ask them why they did this.  They can’t answer you, they truly don’t know!

Forgive everyone and turn it over to God to deal with.  Leave your rocks at the foot of His cross, and pick up the blessings and mercies God has ready for you!  He wants to give you gifts!!

Jesus has put inside of each of us talents and abilities that work with the desires of our hearts and produce fruit in our lives.  Joyful fruit.  Some will receive gifts of music, writing, art, nursing, caring for others, creating beautiful things or understanding great mysteries. 

He will supplement what is inside you with circumstances and material possessions, opportunities and accreditation so that you can go forth and fix needs, bind wounds, serve the hurting and the poor.  Feed them, teach them the Words of God, and demonstrate the love of God in ways people have never seen before!

Don’t look inside of yourself for the answers to who you are and why you’re here.  Instead look into God’s word and into Jesus’ heart to know these things.  Only He can give it to you.  Only God can validate you.  True validation is the justification you receive when you accept Jesus’ death on the cross to pay for your sins.  When you are born again, God justifies you, calls you righteous and makes you His child forever.  There is no higher calling, no greater credential than this.

No college degree can compare with it!  No million dollars in the bank can outweigh it!  No power of any politician can stand above God’s approval of you, no matter how small or insignificant the world may think you are.

Only God’s opinion matters!  And once you are restored to God through this new birth, it can’t ever be taken away from you!  Nobody can take you out of God’s hands.

Nothing you do, no mess up in the future will ruin it!  All sins, past, present and future are nailed to His cross and dealt with.  MORE than paid for.

The reason He has done this for you is to restore fellowship with you, and to make right what went wrong in the Garden of Eden.

You are precious to God, and He is certainly precious to us as well. 

Jesus said, “Ask anything in my name, and believe that you receive and you shall have what you asked.”

God said “if my people will return to me and repent of their sins, I will heal them and their land and I will remember their sins no more.”

You can find more verses and faith confessions on my website at www.blessingmeadowsministries.com.

I love you.  Hope this helps.  God bless you.



God bless you!  Keep looking back here for more updates and more words.  Visit www.lcci.us (our home church in Albany, GA) to watch services online anytime.

Also please check out Pastor Joseph Prince's website and sign up for his free emails.  He is anointed to preach the message of grace and forgiveness, restoration to God in a way that will change your life and empower you!  www.josephprince.org

Write to me here:  chastityrose (at) yahoo.com



Lisa Tyler 2012